2010 in Review

I've haven't even been blogging for a year yet...but I'm so grateful for this little space that I have. I love being able to share what I make and see what others are making as well. I started with just me and some ideas that I wanted to share...now I have followers...real people that want to follow this blog. Crazy.

I put together my top 10 favorite posts in 2010 in no particular order:

1. Foam Chair Slipcover

2. Pier 1 Knock Off

3. Minnie Mouse Costume

4. Ruffle Tree Skirt

5. Painted Chevron Pillows

6. Best Whipped Frosting

7. Silhouette Shirt

8. Hanging a Photo Collage with Foil

9. Padded Steering Wheel Cover

10. Anthro Inspired Necklace

It's been a heck of a year filled with ups and downs, and I'm so glad I have a place to share it all. Thank you so much to anyone who has visited, commented, or follows. I appreciate you all so much and I can't wait to see what is to come next year!

Girly Bathroom Planning

I have exciting news...we are moving! We are FINALLY getting out of our apartment that's falling apart. We found an awesome two story condo nearby and we beat out a few other applicants just cause the renters liked us more! It feels good to have something to look forward to these days.

Now, while we can't move for another 28 days (but who's counting?)...that hasn't stopped me from dreaming of decorating our new space. One super fun thing is that our daughter will have a bathroom in her room...know what that means? Oh yeah...super girly bathroom decor!

I've started thinking about the shower curtain first...and the first thing I thought of was ruffles! I love this Urban Outfitter's version...but I'm thinking maybe just some ruffle strips at the top and bottom?

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I'm also basically in love with this scrapbook wall art. You can get the tute over at Colorful Kisses. I love how simple they are...but yet it's such a great way to add color.

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My daughter will be getting her big bed set up when we move. My original plan was to make her baby clothes quilt a twin size...but I realized I don't have enough clothes for a quilt that size...and I'm going to be pretty bummed the first time we have a bed wetting or throw up incident. I mean...you have to think about that stuff when decorating with kids, right?

So, I found this quilt set at Target this weekend (in a twin size) on clearance for $7.48:

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So my plan now is to just make a smaller blanket out of her baby clothes, scotch guard it...and hope for the best!

I also picked up these fun polka dot sheets at Target on sale too:

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The colors in the picture are pretty bad. They are much brighter and cuter in person and the bright pink is the same color as the pink quilt. I wanted the aqua blue quilt for her room instead...but they are all sold out.

I would like to bring the fun polka dots into the bathroom as well, maybe some applique towels or a fun rug?

My head is also overflowing with ideas for basically every other inch of our new space. I haven't decorated our apartment much cause we always knew we would be moving out, but we hope to be in our new place for a while to come. Moving is so overrated.

I hope to be working on her bathroom things in the weeks to come so that I can just set it all up when we move in...but we'll see if I have time to sew ruffles onto a curtain and pack our apartment:)

Last Minute Shopping

I normally finish all my shopping in October and November. I like getting it all done early...but for some reason, our daughter's gifts stumped me this year. We only get her one or two things since she gets quite a bit from others...so I like to make those few we get her to be really neat and unique.

I made her the ruffle heart pillow...but I forgot to close my bedroom door before I wrapped it. I heard her shout, "Oh! I love it!" coming out of my room and I knew she had weaseled her way in there and found it. She immediately took it to her room and laid down with it...so Merry Christmas to her a few days early! I also found some Arthur books (her new favorite show) at Goodwill for a quarter each.

I still wanted one thing for her to open from us. I ran into Goodwill (hoping to find a cute shirt for church)...and I saw this:

It's a 35" plush Cinderella! I was SO excited! My daughter is that exact height...so it's perfect for her. There were two tags on it with different prices...but the cashier let me have the lower price...so I brought this baby home for just $5! She is all washed and ready to be wrapped tonight.

I guess it pays to be a last minute shopper sometimes, right?

Oh...and I just checked how much these might retail elsewhere...and the only place I can find one is on Ebay...for $79! Do people really spend that on plush dolls?

Have a wonderful Christmas tomorrow!

Felt Flower Embellishments

We promised our daughter that we would go up north and play in the snow this year. We have absolutely no appropriate clothing for such weather...so when I came across this hat and glove set at Joann the other day...I had to snatch it up for our cold day of fun! They were on sale for $2 each...but they looked a little plain.

I used this tutorial from Tatertots and Jello for easy felt flowers.

Materials:

9x12 piece of felt (for one large flower)

hot glue gun

1. Cut out six "flower" shapes from your felt...along with a round circle to glue all your petals to.

2. Put a dab of hot glue in the center of your flower and fold in half.

3. Place another dab of hot glue in the middle of the bottom of your half flower and fold in half again.

Here are all six of my petals:

4. Glue five of the petals around the edge of the circle.

6. Now, you can put a bead in the center of the petals...but I chose to glue the last petal in the center, straight up, to make the flower more full.

That's it! Super easy, right? You can also add leaves, like in the original tutorial, but I like it plain like this.

I glued it to my winter hat to jazz it up a bit. My husband liked the hat better before I added the flower...but he just said, "I don't know why I expected you to wear it plain!". Exactly. He knows me well!

Finally, I took a strip of felt and rolled it up to make a little rosette. I glued it to the left "ring finger" of the glove.

I love my new hat and gloves set. I have a hat and gloves set planned for my daughter out of red fleece...so hopefully I can get that done before next week.

Price:

hat/gloves: $4.00

felt: $.29

Total: $4.29

Ruffle Heart Pillow

I went out to Joann yesterday...and spent the most I have ever spent at any craft store...I spent $25! I almost choked when I heard the total. I did manage to get everything I need for my daughter's baby clothes quilt and the materials to make this pillow...so it wasn't wasted money. I'm just normally always the one pulling down the shopper's spending average with my normal $.89 purchases:)

This was the first craft that I have attempted in a few weeks. My daughter saw a plain heart pillow at Target...but I was too cheap to spend $10 on a plain pillow. I went to get started on this pillow...when I realized that my house looked like this:

...and this...

SO...since I can't happily relax until my house is clean...I folded the 4 loads of laundry, put it away, cleaned the bathroom, the floors, and the dining room. Then I was ready to get my craft on!

Materials:

fleece (I had a 1yd remnant)

matching thread

pillow stuffing

TIP: Always make sure to check the remnant section of the fabric store. Most of the time there is nothing wrong with them. The store has to make remnants once there is less than 1yd on the bolt. You can save a lot on more expensive fabric this way...especially if you don't need much. I got this remnant (which was almost one yard) for half price of half price. Remnants are 50% off of the current price for that fabric...so the fleece was normally $9 a yard...but it was on sale for $4.50 a yard. So my remnant was again half of that making it a little more than $2.50. Make sense?

1. Cut out two heart shapes in the size you want. I made the bottoms a little more rounded than pointy so it would sit nice on the bed. In hindsight, I would have added more of a point than I did.

Also, draw out where you want your ruffle strips to go. I chose two.

2. Cut out the ruffle strips from the rest of your fleece. I cut them about 1" wide. I cut out about 7 and only ended up using 5.

3. Sew the strips into ruffles along the lines that you had drawn on. To learn how to ruffle on the sewing machine, check out my Ruffle Tree Skirt.

4. With right sides facing, pin and sew around the edges of the heart panels, leaving an opening to turn it right side out.

5. Flip right side out and stuff. Sew the opening closed.

That's it! I have to admit...I don't love it. The heart shape wasn't exactly what I was going for. It is growing on me. Does anyone ever finish a craft that they hate one night, but then it doesn't look so bad in the morning? Anyways, I know my daughter will love it...so that's all that matters. It helps when your recipient is 2:)

My edges (where I sewed both pieces together) is a little puckered in certain spots...so I may glue on some more ruffle strips along the seam. Ruffles fix everything, don't they?

I also made this larger than the one at Target. Its about 5-6" smaller than a standard pillow. I thought it would look so cute on her big girl bed...whenever we get around to moving her into it. She keeps promising me, "I will stay in it...I promise!" Does anyone else have trouble believing a toddler?

So, that's my first craft. It felt good to be sewing again. This time of year is especially hard right now. I was so sure we would get our first ultrasound, put it in the 4th picture frame stocking holder we have, and move on our merry way. This is probably the first year I am ready to get through to the new year. I really am trying to stop and enjoy this time of year, though. It's still so magical to see it through my daughter's eyes.

Price:

fleece remnant: $2.37

pillow stuffing: $1.50

Total: $3.87

Better than $10, right?

I'm linked to:

Sugar and Dots

Tea Rose Home

Someday Crafts

Redirection

So, based on the feedback that I have been getting (all positive, thanks!)...I am going to post every now and then about my process. Because...well...it's my blog and I can!

It's redundant to say that my husband and I were devastated when I miscarried. What's a word beyond "devastated"? I'm too tired to use a thesaurus.

So...wanna know what we did? We made a really crazy, impulsive, "we would never do this with sound minds" purchase.

We bought a red Wii.

Wanna know the crazy thing? It has helped so much. In the first few days following everything, we didn't feel like doing much of anything. We have always been the type of couple that does everything together. Not because we don't have friends or we're codependent...but because we love each other. We like each other. We are best friends. We needed something to take off the pressure that we were feeling. The immense amount of emotions. The "crap" that was building up because of this tragedy.

We spend hours just playing video games together. Laughing. Forgetting. Being "normal".

Another reason this purchase was a big deal to us is because we aren't spontaneous shoppers. We have had a rough financial past and we emerged changed, smarter, and debt free. The hubs got a Christmas bonus and of course our first inclination was to put it in the bank. But the day after the miscarriage...we saw a commercial, said "that would be cool", and emerged from the store an hour later with prize in hand.

Now, I don't agree with this kind of spending on a regular basis. I think it can be destructive on so many levels. We have lived that life...it has a sad ending with a lot of heartache. We have learned the hard way. This just seemed different...you know?

Wanna know another crazy impulsive thing I did?

I died my hair...dark.

I know...non-permanent! Am I wild or what?

I haven't died my hair since high school (6 years ago). Even then I used non-permanent (my mother's rule...which I am now SO grateful for).

I have, what you might call, "virgin hair". I never dye it, blow dry it, and rarely use hair spray (just two squirts for my bangs). I curl it every day, but don't wash it every day or use a fine tooth comb. I got it cut into a bob last year...so the stylist told me to style it with a round brush and blow dryer...I had to buy both of those on the way home.

I have always liked my natural hair color...and I actually kind of miss it now that I have a darker color. I just needed something....different. Does that makes sense? Plus, by the time I am over this color...it will have faded out. Also, my husband offered to help (he applied the bottle of dye as I worked it in)...so the whole event was pretty hilarious. We joked about him using up the rest of the dye on his hair...but then realized we would look pretty ridiculous sporting matching hair color...plus he remembered he's a dude.

I guess the moral of this story is...things suck right now. They are messed up. I can't see the future of my life like I was always able to before. I can't control the bigger picture...so I am finding ways to control what I can. I can choose to find happiness throughout my tears, which still come often. I'm choosing to see some of the benefits of this new journey. It doesn't take away the pain, sadness, or injustice...but it's a much needed band aid for the moment.

PS-I think my washing machine just broke...

Searching and Finding Joy

Well, this craft blog has become more of a support group, huh? I had no idea that in sharing my story, so many of you would reach out and tell me your own story. Thank you so much for that. I appreciate that more than you may ever know.

I titled this "searching" for joy...because it has been a search for me the last week. A week ago today...I had a miscarriage in the ER. It was traumatizing. It was horrible. It was life-changing. But it was NOT bigger than God. I had never meant to share my faith much on this blog...probably cause I didn't want to turn people off or make anyone uncomfortable. I still don't want to do that...and I am not sharing to convert anyone. I am going to be open and honest about this journey. It is being true to myself. If anyone is uncomfortable reading this, you have the right to stop reading.

I have searched for joy this week. I was very down on Wednesday...lower than I had ever been in my life. I still get low. There will be times to come where I get low again. My due date will hurt...my miscarriage date will hurt. There are days marked in my mind that have significance now. I do have to choice to not let them have power over me.

I have had two counseling sessions at my church that have challenged me on every aspect of my life. I have come out feeling on top of the world...only to get crushed by seeing a pregnant person or hearing an ignorant person. Both neither responsible for what has happened to me this week. I recognized each time I was sinking and reached out. Most times I tried to reach out physically...and although that satisfied for the moment...I was missing the true fulfillment. I was missing God. I was ignoring Him, being angry at Him.

After my useless book shopping last night (read below)...my mom suggested I crack open my Bible. What? What is it going to say in there? God did this to me in the first place!

I opened the book...I read...I got changed. This time not an "in the moment" change...but a change I could feel throughout my whole day. A lasting change.

My title is accurate in that I have to search for joy. It won't find me. I need the help of God to look for it right now. I have a lot in my life. A husband who is my best friend, a daughter who is all I ever need to feel full as a mother, a family that has cried with me, and friends that have said, "It sucks now...but it will get better" and will sit with me until it does. I am blessed.

Am I cured? Heck no. Do I still cry about the physical pain, the injustice, the "what could have been"...you bet. Most of my day is with those thoughts. Sometimes more than I can bare. But the answer to all those questions for me is simple...God knew...God knows...and God is here to take it from me. I mean...who else do you know that you can yell at, blow off, come back, repent, and they still will hold you and forget it never happened? It's His pain to take. I was never meant to do this life alone.

I didn't know much of what to write in this post. I did know I needed to post something about feeling better....just to give one other person that feeling of hope that so many of you have given me by writing and emailing. This is my new life. My new testimony. My new way to help others. If I can be there for the next 1 in 4...then this will not have happened in vain.

I will leave you with something that I have clung to today to get through just today...tomorrow has it's own worries.

Psalm 17 (The Message translation)

verses 4-5

"I'm not trying to get my way
in the world's way.
I'm trying to get your way,
your Word's way.
I'm staying on your trail;
I'm putting one foot
In front of the other.
I'm not giving up."

I also read the NIV translation. Sometimes reading The Message with my own Bible helps me digest it even more.

If anyone else is interested in reading along with me...I am going to be reading the Psalms and Proverbs for the corresponding days. So I will be reading the 18th of each tomorrow...cause tomorrow is the 18th. I know...genius. I personally am a non-denominational Christian, so I read out of the NIV translation or The Message. My church also reads from King James and the Amplified version as well.

Thank you so much for reading this, for commenting, for emailing, for sharing your story or even just your sympathy. I know there are hard days ahead. There are also joyful ones. Please try and find joy in your life. Whether it be through faith, through reaching out, or through reflecting on what is good in your life.

Let's Talk...

This week has gone by in a blur. I have had two counseling sessions through my church that have been really helpful. My counselor says that it's common to feel like time stops when you have experienced trauma. I agree. I feel like the days have all turned into one long one I can't seem to get a break from. In the same time...it seems like last week, when I was pregnant and happy was years ago. I'm not that person anymore. I miss her.

I would call today a "good" day. Basically, better than yesterday...yet still not really the day I would like to have.

I went on a shopping spree over the last few days to find a book about miscarriage...preferably a Christian one...but not entirely necessary. My counselor warned that it would be hard to find something on miscarriage alone. She was right. There are a few books online...but impossible to find in any store. I have no problem ordering one online...I just wanted to thumb through one in person before committing $18 to one that might suck, you know?

I was saddened to find that after 6 libraries (I searched their online catalogue), Barnes and Noble, Family Christian, Berean, and a thrift store...I came home with nothing. NOTHING.

So...let's talk. I've gotten comments and emails from many of you who have gone through this...some more than once...so why, if the miscarriage rate is 20-30%, are their no tangible guides for this topic? I guess I find a problem with there being every version of Twilight, Harry Potter, or the latest fad diet on the shelf...but NOTHING about losing a pregnancy. Is it just me or is that completely ridiculous??

I finally asked a worker at Barnes and Noble where their miscarriage books would be (insert her giving me a weird pity look...and loss of eye contact. Nice.) She directed me to the only book with the word in the title...which was called Preventing Miscarriage. Its about doing what you can to NOT have a miscarriage. I didn't want to get personal with her...so I told her that I was looking for a book about already having a miscarriage...so she suggested the above book again. Really? Again, I told her "no thank you" and that I needed a book on a completed miscarriage. Once she asked me again if the above book would work, I lost my cool and said, "Nope! Too late...already had one!" Then I felt bad...but am I really crazy in thinking that if someone is asking for a book on having a miscarriage...that a book on preventing it would not be helpful?

My final stop was at Family Christian when, after looking up and down every isle (would it be Family Issues, Women's Interests, Grief/Loss?)...the girl didn't even know how to spell "miscarriage". But if I would like 7 copies of The Hallelujah Diet...then I'm in luck!

I guess I am truly understanding why this experience is so isolating. There are thousands of women out there struggling...but yet it's silent. Looking through so many places for one book to connect with what I am going through...and finding nothing is saddening.

I'm off to read the only book that I feel can help me right now...my Bible. It has more answers in it than what I was looking for all night anyways. I hope someday things change for the generations to come. I hope that our society can talk more openly about this...and not just shrug it off and say "it's common" or "try again". I hope there is more understanding of this pain.

Taking a Break

I have been posting on this blog almost every day since I began in April. I love it. It is my little place to express myself, meet wonderful other ladies, and get inspired on one of those "I'm not feeling so unique" days.

I had been keeping a secret that I was hoping to share with you all this upcoming week. We were going to have a baby next summer and next week would have been my first appointment.

Unfortunately, I found out that I miscarried this week at just shy of 10 weeks pregnant.

I am not going to share the details, but it was more traumatic than doctors warned me that it would be and I spent a total of 11 hours in an ER.

So, although this happened in the early stages of pregnancy, it didn't make it any easier. It is a part of our story now and it hurts very much. I personally believe in God, who I know has my best interest in mind. Although it hurts now, I know I am not alone. He is by my side...as well as so many other ladies that have reached out to me who have been through this, or worse. I am so grateful to have a daughter who is there to help get me through the day, and a husband who understands that I can be laughing one moment, and a crying mess the other.

I used to see miscarriage as a statistic. I am ashamed of that now. Every time I read or heard that roughly 1 in 4 pregnancies end in the first trimester....I always just was hopeful to be one of those three that continued. I never thought about that 1. The 1 that feels fine and pregnant and happy one day....and learns things are going horribly wrong the next. The 1 that has to walk into a hospital pregnant and then realize the Dr has now started talking about the pregnancy in past tense. The 1 that went in to the hospital hopeful and came out empty in so many ways. The 1 that has to go home, and not only deal with the emotional pain, but also the horrible physical pain that is a minute-by-minute reminder of hopes and dreams ended.

I almost didn't share any of this. I was just going to quietly stop blogging...but that didn't feel right either. I didn't want to keep quiet because over the last two days, I have been getting calls and emails from women who I didn't even know had gone through this...and that made me think that there is help and strength in sharing. It truly gives me hope when I get a call or email from someone who echos my same pain and anger. Someone who tells me it was also so much more physically painful than any Dr or medical website will say. I shared because maybe I can be 1 to help another 1.

With all that said, I will be taking a break from the blog. I don't know for how long. My mood is different with every passing minute. There are times I feel like I will never stop crying, and times I feel I may never cry again.

I mainly want everyone to think about what trials others may be going through. Take the time to think and pray for those who have lost. Whether it be miscarriage or any other disease. Take time to think about that percentage who were affected and have struggled. They are not just a statistic. They are the ones at home, feeling like it will never get better, and wanting to feel "normal" again. If you know someone...physically reach out to them. Do not forget them.

I hope to see you again soon:)

UPDATE: I want to sincerely thank everyone who has left comments or emailed me. I have cried with each one. I cry you who have gone through this...some of you more than once...and some much later in pregnancy. I cry for who you were at the time and how it has changed you forever.

I am also so uplifted by all of you sharing.
I think there is healing in telling your story. So many times our secrets hold power over us when they are hidden. The sadness, anger, and shame keep us from speaking out and connecting with others who can help. I know it has already helped me to be open about whatever emotion I am feeling at the time and not having guilt about feeling it.

Any kind of grief can be so isolating. Feeling alone and like no one understands. Please feel free to leave your comment here or email me personally. I love hearing from all of you.

Homemade Waffles

(source)

The hubs and I discovered the Waffle House a few weeks ago. Anyone have one of those by them? Now...the Waffle House has been around a while...we just never went together until a few weeks ago. I was having a major craving for a waffle...so off we went! A half a pecan waffle later...I was satisfied...but only until the next weekend when we went and got another one to split:)

So, this got me thinking that I could actually make waffles at home instead of spending $3 a piece on one. I found a waffle maker at the thrift store for $4 and the rest was history. Needless to say...the hubs has had waffles almost every morning for the last week:)

So far, my favorite plain waffle recipe is from Betty Crocker (picture above). Here is my version that I "tweaked" just a bit:

Homemade Waffles

(makes 8 waffles)

2 cups baking mix

1 1/3 cups milk

1 egg

2 tbs applesauce (substituted for veg. oil)

1 tbs cinnamon (optional)

Mix all ingredients and pour into the waffle maker.

I like substituting the applesauce for vegetable oil. Vegetable oil just sounds kind of gross in waffles...but that's my opinion. Then I added cinnamon because, well, cinnamon just makes everything better:)

These aren't super sweet waffles, they are just sweet enough to have jelly, or syrup, or a little whipped cream on them. I figure my family will want to dress them up with enough sugary stuff...so why add even more to the batter?

For now, this has kept us out of the Waffle House...but I may need to get more creative with them in order to keep it that way:)